A Better Way To Say Sorry
During the Bullying Awareness Day we talked about what an honest apology looks like. I explained to students that when they get in trouble for doing something that is unkind to someone else, they have the chance to amend the offense by apologizing in an honest and meaningful way.
Then I acted out some insincere apologies, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms and screaming “perdoooon”, with a negative attitude. I asked them if that looked and sounded honest and they all said no.
I explained to them that after hurting someone (verbally or physically) we could use it as an opportunity to learn how to be better friends. I introduced the 4 steps for A Better Way To Say Sorry, and explained each one of them:
Then I acted out some insincere apologies, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms and screaming “perdoooon”, with a negative attitude. I asked them if that looked and sounded honest and they all said no.
I explained to them that after hurting someone (verbally or physically) we could use it as an opportunity to learn how to be better friends. I introduced the 4 steps for A Better Way To Say Sorry, and explained each one of them:
1. I`m sorry for…
“First, you have to say you are sorry for what you did to that person. For example: I’m sorry for pushing you.”
2. This is wrong because…
“Then you explain why this was wrong. For example: This is wrong because I hurt you.”
3. In the future I will…
“After that, you make a promise that in the future you will be a good friend by doing something respectful. You say: In the future I will be respectful and use my words.”
Here it is very important that the comment is said in a positive way; Instead of I won’t push you again they can say it as the previous example.
Here it is very important that the comment is said in a positive way; Instead of I won’t push you again they can say it as the previous example.
4. Will you forgive me?
“Finally, you have to ask that person if they forgive you: Will you forgive me?”
After going through the steps I invited volunteers to come in front of the group and act out a scenario where someone did something wrong to another person and the whole class helped the offender follow the four steps to apologize.
To avoid misunderstandings, we were very clear that these situations weren’t real and that the children were going to act. We changed their names while they performed the conflict and apology.
To avoid misunderstandings, we were very clear that these situations weren’t real and that the children were going to act. We changed their names while they performed the conflict and apology.
Example No. 1
Example No. 2
Lupita (Ximena) spent a lot of time building a Lego ship. Juanita (María Inés) is angry at her friend and destroys her Lego construction. Lupita cries.
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Juanita says: “I’m sorry for destroying your Lego ship. That was wrong because it took you a lot of time and effort and now you are sad. In the future I will respect your work. Will you forgive me?”
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Example No. 3
Example No. 4
José is walking and María tripped him with her foot. She thinks it’s funny but José is upset.
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María says: “I’m sorry for pushing you and laughing at you. That was wrong because it made you angry and also you can get hurt. In the future I will respect you and be nice. Will you forgive me?”
José says yes and they hug each other.
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At the table, each child was asked to remember a situation when he/she was not a good friend. They shared that moment with Miss Belén and she helped them review the four steps to practice how to say an honest apology. We made a big emphasis on the part where you commit to not do it again and learn from this experience how to be nice to your friends.
We kept a poster in the classroom with the four steps and children have been using them when necessary. We invite you to use the four steps at home.
We kept a poster in the classroom with the four steps and children have been using them when necessary. We invite you to use the four steps at home.